Improving communication between co-parents

The emotional scars that linger after a child custody battle may never heal. One parent may strongly resent the other for all of the things that were said during the dispute, and there may be unhappiness over the final decision that was reached in the case by the courts.

Parents know that they need to work together for the sake of the children, but, one may be unwilling to let go of the hurt feelings that they experienced during the custody determination. This post discusses some of the things that you can do if your co-parent is making life difficult for you and the kids. 

Avoid getting stuck in minor arguments

This may sound like exactly what was happening during your relationship or marriage. The smallest things become big deals because your former partner will not let them go. You have to recognize these traps, and minimize the discussions that you have about these issues.

If the other side wants to take their frustrations over the custody battle out on you, limit your conversations solely to matters about the children. If he or she wishes to talk about things that are making them upset, ask them to send an email or text, because this can help prevent outbursts in public, in front of the kids, during pick-ups and drop offs.

Always keep the focus on the best interests of the kids

You yourself may be dealing with some unresolved feelings over the end of the relationship. You have to remember that taking out your anger on the other party or your kids will accomplish absolutely nothing in the long run.

Your main concern should be the welfare of your children. You have to do what you can to limit the potential impact that the divorce or break-up has upon them. This can help them move through the process along with you, and leave you all in a much better place emotionally.

If the problems persist, find a professional to help

Maybe the other side will not stop arguing about everything. Perhaps he or she is fighting decisions that you are allowed to make on behalf of the child. You may need to consult a parenting coordinator to help facilitate communication and improve the co-parenting situation.

In some cases, these disputes may need you to revisit your custody agreement. If you feel it is necessary to make changes to your custody arrangement, speak to an experienced attorney to determine if those options are available to you.

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